Abuse is never condoned in the Bible and domestic violence is wrong but it is not a biblical reason for divorce. There is not one scripture in the whole bible, Old or New Testament, that allows a believing wife to divorce her husband. A wife who divorces her husband, is doing so against God’s will, and must repent and seek forgiveness.
No person can add or take away from the Bible. To ‘take away’ means to set aside scripture or act like it doesn’t exist. Adding to the Bible would mean to add exceptions to God’s word so that a particular verse does not apply, due to the justifications and compromise you have added.
Deuteronomy 4:2 – You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you.
Deuteronomy 12:32 – See that you do all I command you; do not add to it or take away from it.
Proverbs 30:6 – Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.
Revelation 22:18-19 – I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. 19 And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.
The Bible clearly states that domestic violence is wrong. Husbands are commanded to love their wives and not to be harsh with them. Husbands are to live with their wives considerately and with respect. A wife is a part of her husband and together, they form one body and are partakers of the same, life-giving, Holy Spirit.
Colossians 3:19 – Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
1 Peter 3:7 – Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers
Ephesians 5:28 – In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5: 25 – Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:33 – However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
A husband must be very careful to follow the teachings of the Bible when dealing with his wife. God affords no abuse or physical violence whatsoever.
Malachi 2:13-14 – And this second thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
God is constantly watching over the Christian marriage. He is a witness of the dealings between husband and wife. Husbands are to protect the sanctity of their marriages by not divorcing their wives.
Malachi 2:15 & 16 – Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
A husband must not be abusive or violent towards his wife. He also must not divorce his wife and vice versa.
Mark 10:11-12 – He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
It is clearly a husband’s duty not to be harsh with his wife, as she is his own flesh. However, being one flesh also means that the two cannot separate.
Mark 10:9 – Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
1 Corinthians 7:10 – To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
If a husband is disobedient to the word, this does not mean that a believing wife can divorce her husband.
1 Peter 3:1 – In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives.
The Bible is a standard of ethics that must be adhered to even in the toughest of times. It is no good if we only follow God when things are going well for us, and when things turn bad, we abandon our integrity, annul scripture and add exceptions to it, to suit what we want.
The men and women of God in the Bible never compromised scripture, even when they were treated harshly. And it is the same for us today, there is no double standard. To reiterate to any man who is violent; violence is wrong! Any husband who is harsh with his wife shall be judged by God, but his disobedience to God does not give his wife the right to divorce him.
The Bible does not ever endorse running away from abuse or suffering.
1 Peter 2:18-23 – Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. 19 For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. 20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
22 “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” 23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.
If a believing Christian is being abused, he or she is not meant to run away, but rather turn the other cheek to bear up under the pain of unjust suffering, due to obedience to God’s word, just like Jesus did. And we are meant to follow Christ’s example and live as he did.
1 John 2:6 – Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.
Romans 8:17 – Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
2 Corinthians 1:5 – For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.
All the scriptures apply to women as they do to men. Scriptures cannot be annulled and neither can exceptions be added to it.
Matthew 5:39 – But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
1 Peter 3:9-14 – Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.
Proverbs 20:22 – Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you.
Proverbs 24:29 – Do not say, “I’ll do to them as they have done to me; I’ll pay them back for what they did.”
Matthew 5:10-12 – Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
1 Corinthians 6:7 – The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?
The Bible is very clear that a wife must never separate from her husband for any reason.
1 Corinthians 7:10 – To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
Romans 7:2-3 – For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. 3 So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.
1 Corinthians 7:39 – A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
Men and women of God are meant to suffer for the gospel. This means that we cannot twist the gospel to suit our predicament, no matter what they are in order to escape suffering. These scripture apply to both men and women.
2 Timothy 3:12 – In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.
Romans 5:3-5 – Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
James 1:2-4 – Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Philippians 1:29 – For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him,
1 Peter 4:1 – Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin.
1 Peter 4:12-19 – Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler.
16 However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God?
18 And, “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” 19 So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
James 1:12 – Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
Psalm 119:71 – It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.
Psalm 119:67 – Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word.
We must look to God for help during our suffering.
Psalm 34:19 – Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
Psalm 23:1-6 – The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Due to our suffering because we adhered to the Bible, there will be no more suffering in the kingdom of Heaven.
Revelation 21:4 – ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 – Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Many of you think that I am being harsh in stating these facts. When in fact, I am comforting the one who is suffering with this statement: if you endure suffering and hardship because you held to the word of God (in this case not divorcing an abusive husband), an eternal reward awaits you.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 – Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Romans 8:35 – Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
1 Peter 1:6-7 – In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
The Bible even clearly states that we must not try to run away from the teachings of Jesus in order to save our lives, or our bodies from suffering.
Matthew 10:39 – Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
Matthew 16:25 – For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.
Mark 8:35 – For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.
Luke 9:24 – For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.
Luke 17:33 – Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it.
John 12:25 – Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
Acts 5:40-41 – His speech persuaded them. They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. 41 The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.
Psalm 119:50 – My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.
Luke 14:27 – And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
Matthew 10:38 – Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Matthew 16:24 – Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
Mark 8:34 – Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
Luke 9:23 – Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
John 18:11 – Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”
Matthew 10:22 – You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Mark 13:13 – Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Romans 12:14 – Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Acts 14:22 – strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.
Paul speaks of his sufferings and abuse:
2 Corinthians 11:23-25 – Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. 24 Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea,
2 Timothy 1:8 – So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.
2 Timothy 2:3 – Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.
Christian pastors who preach a gospel of no suffering or running away from suffering, are imitating Peter’s mistake in the following scripture. Misinformed and setting their minds on human concerns and not the concerns of God, they become a stumbling block to others:
Matthew 16:21-23 – 21 From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” 23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
Matthew 18:7 – Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!
Luke 17:1-2 – Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. 2 It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.
These seemingly compassionate teachers are actually stumbling blocks, causing people to focus on their temporary lives by adding exceptions to God’s word and annulling scripture so that they can run away from suffering in this age. All the while, forsaking eternal life in the age to come.
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