As Christian men, flirting should only be reserved for:
- Your wife; or
- A woman whom you are dating with the intention of marrying.
Too many men convey a general attitude of flirtation and charm anytime they speak to any women. This is not acceptable in the eyes of God.
1 Timothy 5:1-2 – Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
Men should speak and treat older women as they would their own mothers, and younger women should be treated as sisters, with absolute purity, meaning no flirtation or sexuality.
Flirtation is meant only for one’s wife or the woman you are intending to marry (meaning currently dating). Single men are also not meant to flirt with or seduce married women, as the scriptures clearly state that all must uphold the marriage vow.
Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
This means that a single man must also uphold the marriage vow of a married woman by not engaging in flirtation or lustful intent. In the eyes of God, this kind of behavior is adultery and will be judged by God.
Jesus stated:
Matthew 5:28 – But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Single men must not flirt with a divorced woman either, as in the eyes of God, she is still married. Flirting with a divorced woman would make the single man guilty of adultery.
Matthew 5:32 – But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Luke 16:18 – “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Mark 10:12 – And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Single men are also not free to flirt with multiple single women either. To the contrary, a single man must pay his attention to a singular (unmarried) woman that he wishes to date for the purposes of marriage. He should not be dating multiple women, keeping his options open and ‘playing the field’.
If he has no intention of marrying the woman he is dating, then he should end the courtship and look for another potential mate.
In today’s society, this kind of attitude and thinking towards dating is frowned upon and looked upon as ‘archaic’. But we are meant to return to the old ways and not forge ahead in new thinking that is contrary to the word of God.
Jeremiah 6:16 – This is what the Lord says:
“Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.
But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’
Jeremiah 18:15 – But my people are not so reliable, for they have deserted me; they burn incense to worthless idols. They have stumbled off the ancient highways and walk in muddy paths.
Berean Study Bible Translation – Yet My people have forgotten Me. They burn incense to worthless idols that make them stumble in their ways, leaving the ancient roads to walk on rutted bypaths instead of on the highway.
Instead we should be seeking God’s word and instruction for our lives, not the world’s ways with its ever changing philosophies.
Jeremiah 42:3 – Pray that the Lord your God will tell us where we should go and what we should do.”
When dating, Christians must remember that any sexual intercourse outside the institution of marriage is sinful and considered fornication.
Finding a wife in the eyes of the Lord is a good thing, and we should align our way of thinking with His, not the newest philosophy of the world, which states that marriage is bad.
Proverbs 18:22 – He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
Genesis 2:18 – The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Proverbs 19:14 – Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Proverbs 31:10 – A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Contrary to what the world teaches, a marriage is NOT the end of a satisfying sex life, it is merely the beginning. You do not need multiple sex partners in a Godly marriage!
A true woman of God does not sexually deny her husband as she understands that her husband has authority over her body and vice versa.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4 – The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
A true woman of God does not judge, quarrel or argue with her husband.
1 Peter 3:1-2, 4-5 – Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands,
An argumentative and quarrelsome wife is frowned upon in the Bible.
Proverbs 12:4 – A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Proverbs 21:9 – Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:19 – Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
Proverbs 27:15-16 – A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm;
16 restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
Proverbs 25:24 – Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 19:13 – A foolish child is a father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.
Proverbs 9:13 -A foolish woman is clamorous; She is simple, and knows nothing.
New International Version – Folly is an unruly woman; she is simple and knows nothing.
New American Standard Bible – A woman of foolishness is boisterous, She has a lack of understanding and knows nothing.
Christian Standard Bible – Folly is a rowdy woman; she is gullible and knows nothing.
But a Godly wife is submissive to her husband, always willing to learn from him and not quarrel and argue.
1 Timothy 2:11 – A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 – Women f should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. 35If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.
Ephesians 5:22 – Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
Colossians 3:18 – Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
A true woman of God focuses her attention on her inner beauty…
1 Timothy 2:9-10 – And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 10For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.
1 Peter 3 – Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Proverbs 31:25 – She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
Proverbs 31:30 – Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
And not the outer beauty.
Proverbs 11:22 – Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
In Proverbs 31, the Bible outlines the characteristics of a noble wife. She is clothed in strength and dignity, worth far more than rubies; she brings her husband nothing but good, and he lacks nothing of value. Her husband and children rise up and call her ‘blessed’!
Proverbs 31:10-31 – The Wife Of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food fro afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.“
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
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