Amos Ministries

It’s easy to be a rebellious, argumentative, nagging wife – anyone can do that! 

Today’s popular culture portrays and encourages women to be strong, fearless, rebellious, feminists, and to ensure equality in their marriages. While every woman is equal to any man, the Bible makes a significant distinction between “women” and “wives”.

According to the Bible, once a woman becomes a wife, she is not equal to her husband. Under God’s law, wives must submit to their husbands. As soon as the word ‘submit’ gets mentioned some women may immediately imagine their husband, eyes flaming, fingers pointing, towering over her and barking orders, while they kneel at his feet and scrub the floor. But the objective of submitting to your husband goes far beyond what you are imagining. This imagination is a fear tactic used by the Enemy to scare you into disobeying the word of God!

As women, society teaches us to put our own feelings, wants and needs first. Changing this perspective once you become a wife is difficult. 

Proverbs 31:10-31 – An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 

After all, who wants to operate according to someone else’s needs and ethics, least of all permanently to your husband until death do you part? Especially since popular culture and society has taught women to be independent and always look out for themselves first. We all want to do what we want! But the Bible says that a wife who thinks about herself before her husband, does not bring honor to her marriage.

Proverbs 12:4 – An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 14:1 – The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Do you think about all the good you could do to your husband? Or does your husband come home to a ‘warzone’ like atmosphere every day? Is he greeted with a hug and a smile or a ‘to do’ list? Do you complain about him more than you compliment him? Are your children growing up in a home where mom and dad are constantly at odds? Have everyday instances become an opportunity to struggle for power rather than work together? 

It’s plain to see how exhausting and overwhelming this kind of atmosphere can be for anyone! It’s no wonder why the Bible says:

Proverbs 21:9 – It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 19:13 – A foolish child is a calamity to a father; a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping.

Proverbs 21:19 – It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.

Proverbs 25:24 – Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Here’s something most feminists cannot understand: being a Godly wife doesn’t mean you have to submit to every man – only to your husband. In the Bible, a man and a woman are equal and there are many instances of Godly women holding an office of authority over men. A wife who submits to her husband can still remain a figure of authority over other men (in her career for example), but once a woman gets married, she sees to it that she puts herself in subjection to her husband.

Ephesians 5:24 – Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

In a Godly marriage, a wife is meant to honor and respect her husband and serve him as if she was serving the Lord Jesus himself. Sadly this command is being ignored more than ever now and It’s rare to see a wife treating her husband with such respect and honor these days, even in the church.

Ephesians 5:22-23 – Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

When you look at the Bible’s definition of a Godly wife, it’s easy to see how far our society has fallen away regarding marriage! The mere thought of a wife submitting to her husband conjures up images of abuse. Society has instilled in wives the fear that if they trust and obey what God has commanded and submit to their husbands, that their husbands will take advantage of that power.

An example of a Godly wife can be found in the story of Sarah, the wife of Abraham. I’m sure there were times when Sarah must have thought her husband Abraham was ‘out to lunch’ on his decisions. In a moment and without any plan or certainty, Abraham left his home country with his household, and set off for a foreign land. They faced many hardships and setbacks. While journeying, he told his wife to lie and say she was his sister so that he wouldn’t be killed. He even told her they would have a child in their old age, and then Abraham went to sacrifice their only child! Fear must have gripped Sarah on more than one occasion and she must have wanted to rebel against Abraham. 

Yet, through it all, she still referred to her husband, as Lord and refused to give way to fear.

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

1 Peter 3:5-6

A wife’s decision to submit to her husband is a direct reflection of the hope and trust that she puts in God. Don’t let society shame you for being a Godly wife! Being a Godly wife is a high office that you choose to undertake. In order to serve the Lord, a Godly wife strives to serve her husband with a quiet, submissive and helpful spirit. This requires great courage, skill and patience! 

Proverbs 31:25 – 27 – Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Do you have the courage and faith to be a submissive wife?

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