In continuation with our current theme on marriage, the topic of today’s post is: Can a Christian man marry a divorced woman? The answer to that question is no. Anyone who has done so, has committed adultery and needs to repent! The laws of society may have changed, but God’s law is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Matthew 24:35 – Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
Psalm 119:89 – Your word, LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.
Matthew 5:18 – For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.
Mark 13:31 – Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
Luke 21:33 – Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
Isaiah 40:8 – The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.”
1 Peter 1:25 – but the word of the Lord endures forever.” And this is the word that was preached to you.
Numbers 23:19 – God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?
Nowhere in the history of the Old or New Testament, has a man been allowed to marry a divorced woman. That being said, if you have married a divorced woman, all is not lost. There is a simple solution to remedy the matter (and no, it’s not to get divorced). We will be taking a look at 2 examples in the Bible about marrying a woman who is already married. But first let’s review the scriptures where Jesus says it is wrong to marry a divorced woman.
Matthew 5:32 – But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Luke 16:18 – “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
In the eyes of God, a divorced woman is still another man’s wife since God does not recognize the divorce.
Mark 10:12 – And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
Even if a woman is divorced, God still considers her another man’s wife. The only time a wife can remarry is upon her husband’s death. In other words, only widows can remarry, without being an adulteress in the eyes of God.
Romans 7:2-3 – For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. 3 So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.
1 Corinthians 7:39 – A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
If you are a man who has married a divorced woman or a divorced woman who has remarried, this is adultery which is a sin. The answer to this is simple and it is NOT to get divorced once again. No, it is to repent and ask God for forgiveness. Repent means to admit your sin to God and not to cover up your sin with justifications or exceptions so that you can appear innocent. Instead, accept your guilt. Repent and ask God for forgiveness, no matter what the reason was for your divorce, since there is absolutely no reason, that is grounds for a believing wife to divorce her husband and get remarried.
There are two examples of adultery in the Bible that I will refer to in making this point, and in neither case, did God demand for the adulterous couple to get a divorce or separate. Rather, they were required to merely repent; admit their sin and ask for forgiveness.
Example #1
The first is King David & Bathsheba. Their story can be found in:
2 Samuel 11:1-5 – In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.
2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, “I am pregnant.”
We can see clearly that both parties committed adultery; King David because he slept with a married woman, and Bathsheba, because she was a married woman. When they find out she is pregnant, King David attempts to cover up their sin. He plans to bring Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, back from battle so that he can have sexual relations with his wife and he will think the child is his.
2 Samuel 11:6-13 – 6 So David sent this word to Joab: “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” And Joab sent him to David. 7 When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. 8 Then David said to Uriah, “Go down to your house and wash your feet.” So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him. 9 But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master’s servants and did not go down to his house.
10 David was told, “Uriah did not go home.” So he asked Uriah, “Haven’t you just come from a military campaign? Why didn’t you go home?”
11 Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open country. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!”
12 Then David said to him, “Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back.” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 At David’s invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master’s servants; he did not go home.
Unfortunately, Uriah being a man of integrity, did not fall into King David’s plans out of his ethics of being a loyal, disciplined soldier.
2 Samuel 11:14-17 – In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In it he wrote, “Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.”
16 So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. 17 When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David’s army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died.
King David then decided to kill Uriah, making Bathsheba a widow, which would allow her to remarry. But this displeased God.
2 Samuel 11:26-27 – 26 When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.
2 Samuel 12:1-4 – The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.
4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”
The sin that God is addressing to King David is the adultery between himself and Bathsheba.
2 Samuel 12:5-10 – David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’
In the end, King David does pay four times over for the sin he committed. He loses his newborn son, his daughter, Tamar is raped, his son Amon, is killed by his other son, Absolom, and lastly, Absolom is killed by David’s commander, Joab.
God addresses the sin of murder that King David committed, and curses him for it. King David had justified that he did not directly kill Uriah, but rather, he died as a soldier in battle. God obviously does not agree with this, as King David conspired and facilitated Uriah’s death by his own orders. Uriah’s death was not a natural procession or occurrence. His death was essentially premeditated.
What is important to understand is that if King David had recognized and admitted/confessed his sin before God, God would have forgiven him. Yet instead, David failed to even recognize his sin due to the justifications he made to cover it up. Thus, causing God to enact disciplinary action against David, rather than immediate forgiveness.
King David felt as some do today; that if they are single and the other person married, that only the married party (in this case, the woman, Bathsheba) would be committing adultery. Technically speaking, in this case, specifically, David, being a king, could have multiple wives and concubines. But the Bible clearly states that all must uphold the marriage vow.
Hebrews 13:4 – Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
This also means that even those who are single must uphold the marriage vows of a married person. In this case, King David should have upheld Bathsheba’s marriage vow. Otherwise, that single individual is guilty of adultery, even though they are not married.
This was how King David justified his sin, and why he had no guilt regarding his adulterous actions, until God spoke through Nathan, the prophet, to point out King David’s sin. King David justified that only Bathsheba would be committing adultery.
He also justified that he did not directly kill Uriah, but that Uriah was killed in battle. Because of these justifications, King David was disciplined by God. If King David had not justified these sins and confessed/admitted it to God instead, God would have forgiven him without any disciplinary action.
1 John 1:8-10 – If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
But once King David’s sin was revealed through Nathan, the prophet, King David repented immediately.
2 Samuel 12:11-13 – “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’”
13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die.
As soon as David recognized the error of his ways and uncovered his sin, he admitted and confessed it immediately. God forgave him right away and stated that he shall not die for this sin, physically or spiritually (meaning God won’t take the Holy Spirit away from King David) because of his repentance.
But because he did try to justify and cover up his sins, King David is punished temporarily (meaning in this world), but not in the age to come with eternal damnation (death).
2 Samuel 12:14-18 – But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” 15 After Nathan had gone home, the Lord struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. 16 David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. 17 The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them.
18 On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.”
King David holds no resentment towards God for His actions of taking his child’s life.
2 Samuel 12:19 & 20 – 19 David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” 20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.
Although King David and Bathsheba were married under these sinful circumstances, the Lord never demands that they separate or divorce.
2 Samuel 11:26-27 – When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.
David’s admission of sin and repentance was enough for God to grant forgiveness. God even blesses their son, Solomon, who came from this union, by allowing him to build the first Temple of the Lord. He establishes David’s throne forever by allowing the Messiah, Jesus, to descend from his line.
2 Samuel 12:24 – Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him;
1 Chronicles 22:9-10 – But you will have a son who will be a man of peace and rest, and I will give him rest from all his enemies on every side. His name will be Solomon, and I will grant Israel peace and quiet during his reign. 10 He is the one who will build a house for my Name. He will be my son, and I will be his father. And I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever.’
1 Chronicles 28:5-7 – Of all my sons—and the Lord has given me many—he has chosen my son Solomon to sit on the throne of the kingdom of the Lord over Israel. 6 He said to me: ‘Solomon your son is the one who will build my house and my courts, for I have chosen him to be my son, and I will be his father. 7 I will establish his kingdom forever if he is unswerving in carrying out my commands and laws, as is being done at this time.’
Example #2 King Herod
The second example is found in the New Testament. It’s the story of King Herod who married Herodias, his brother’s wife. John the Baptist rebuked the King for his sin and was subsequently arrested and beheaded for preaching this exact message.
Luke 3:18-20 – And with many other words John exhorted the people and proclaimed the good news to them. 19 But when John rebuked Herod the tetrarch because of his marriage to Herodias, his brother’s wife, and all the other evil things he had done, 20 Herod added this to them all: He locked John up in prison.
Matthew 14:3-4 – Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, 4 for John had been saying to him: “It is not lawful for you to have her.”
Herodias divorced her husband Philip, and married his brother, King Herod. Thus, making their union adulterous because Philip was still alive. This is what John the Baptist was preaching against.
Matthew 14:5-11 – Herod wanted to kill John, but he was afraid of the people, because they considered John a prophet. 6 On Herod’s birthday the daughter of Herodias danced for the guests and pleased Herod so much 7 that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she asked. 8 Prompted by her mother, she said, “Give me here on a platter the head of John the Baptist.” 9 The king was distressed, but because of his oaths and his dinner guests, he ordered that her request be granted 10 and had John beheaded in the prison. 11 His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl, who carried it to her mother.
The same account is repeated in the Gospel of Mark:
Mark 6:16-18 – 16 But when Herod heard this, he said, “John, whom I beheaded, has been raised from the dead!” 17 For Herod himself had given orders to have John arrested, and he had him bound and put in prison. He did this because of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, whom he had married. 18 For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.”
John the Baptist was preaching that no one can marry a divorced woman, and no divorced woman can remarry.
Mark 6:19-28 – So Herodias nursed a grudge against John and wanted to kill him. But she was not able to, 20 because Herod feared John and protected him, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man. When Herod heard John, he was greatly puzzled; yet he liked to listen to him.
21 Finally the opportune time came. On his birthday Herod gave a banquet for his high officials and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. 22 When the daughter of Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his dinner guests.
The king said to the girl, “Ask me for anything you want, and I’ll give it to you.” 23 And he promised her with an oath, “Whatever you ask I will give you, up to half my kingdom.”
24 She went out and said to her mother, “What shall I ask for?” “The head of John the Baptist,” she answered. 25 At once the girl hurried in to the king with the request: “I want you to give me right now the head of John the Baptist on a platter.”
26 The king was greatly distressed, but because of his oaths and his dinner guests, he did not want to refuse her. 27 So he immediately sent an executioner with orders to bring John’s head. The man went, beheaded John in the prison, 28 and brought back his head on a platter. He presented it to the girl, and she gave it to her mother.
John the Baptist was preaching for Herod and Herodias to repent, not to get a second divorce. He wanted them to admit their sin and not to cover it up with justifications, but rather, to ask for forgiveness. If a woman’s husband is still alive, there is no justification that would allow her to get remarried for any reason. There is absolutely no circumstance in which a man can marry a divorced woman. This is pure and simple adultery.
If you have married a divorced woman, the solution is to admit your sin, confess it to God and be forgiven. We must also not counsel others that divorce is acceptable for any reason. This is especially in regards to a believing wife, as she cannot divorce her husband for any reason at all. And we must not counsel those who are divorced with the option of remarriage, as this is considered adultery in the eyes of God. Those who advise and endorse that remarriage is acceptable for divorcees will have this sin on their hands too. This admission in no way requires for the couple to get a divorce. The solution is simply admission of their guilt and repentance of their sin.
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