Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
A real Godly wife submits to her husband out of obedience to God’s word. Submitting to your husband is an act of obedience to God’s word.
Ephesians 5:22 – Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
Colossian 3:18 – Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
There are many examples of Godly women in the Bible and each one shows how a wife willfully and dutifully submitted to their own husbands. Wives who follow the culture and traditions of the modern world focus their attention on their outward beauty and appearance. They spend their time making material objects their desire and priority. Rather than submit and become the helper that God created her to be, the worldly wife struggles for power and dominance within her marriage.
Genesis 2:18 – The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
But a Godly wife focuses her energy on beautifying her inner self. She adorns her spirit with quietness and gentleness. She embraces her role to become the kind of helper and support to her husband that God designed her to be. The attention that a Godly wife gives to the inner details of her spirit is of great worth in God’s eyes.
1 Peter 3:3-6 – Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Sarah, the wife of Abraham, was a Godly wife. A Godly wife strives to obey and see her husband as her Lord. Throughout their marriage, Sarah honored Abraham. She accompanied him when he uprooted their family and lives and moved from Hebron to Canaan. The journey must have been treacherous, yet the Bible does not mention any sort of rebellion on Sarah’s part. Abraham feared that he would be killed because Sarah was so beautiful and the King would want her as his own. So Abraham told Sarah to lie and say she was his sister and Sarah obeyed him. Because of that, God intervened and made the King return Sarah to Abraham. When Abraham told her that God would give them a child in their old age, Sarah believed him. So much so, that she was willing to give another woman (Hagar) to be Abraham’s wife and bear him a child, just so she could honor Abraham and fulfill God’s promise. But God still made sure Sarah had her own child just as he said she would!
Proverbs 31:12 – She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life.
Another example of a Godly wife is Leah. Leah was the first wife of Jacob, and not by choice. Her marriage went beyond being arranged! Jacob was in love with Leah’s younger sister, Rachel and had arranged to marry her. Leah’s father, Laban, tricked Jacob into marrying his eldest daughter, Leah, first. We can see from this first instance, that Leah was a Godly woman. As a daughter, Leah honored and obeyed her father and went along with marrying Jacob. Even before getting married, Leah knew that she was not Jacob’s first choice. The Bible also points out that Leah wasn’t particularly attractive. Even after they were married, Jacob still married Rachel a week later. In Genesis 29:30, the Bible says that his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah and it was apparent to Leah.
The more Leah was rejected and unloved, the more God favored her and blessed her womb with children. Each time she gave birth to one of Jacob’s children, we can see the hope she had, that perhaps this time, her husband would come back to her. With each child she bore, Leah praised God and hoped that she had finally won Jacob’s love.
We can see Leah’s state of mind each time she had one of Jacob’s children. Her trust and hope that God will change her circumstance did not waiver:
Genesis 29:32 – 35 – Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”
33She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.
34Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.
35She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah.
Genesis 30: 17God listened to Leah, and she became pregnant and bore Jacob a fifth son. 18Then Leah said, “God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband.” So she named him Issachar.
19Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son. 20Then Leah said, “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.” So she named him Zebulun.
21Some time later she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah.
It goes without saying that Jacob was exceptionally harsh and cruel to Leah. Everytime Jacob hurt and rejected Leah, she cried out to God. Like a Godly wife, her words were never directed to Jacob. She submitted herself to Jacob without protest about the way he was treating her. Her pleas and complaints about Jacob were poured out before God.
1 Peter 3:1-2 – Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
And like the above scriptures say, out of her purity and reverence for God, Leah won over Jacob. A wife who is respectful and submissive to her husband is of great worth to God.
Despite Jacob’s harsh treatment and rejection of Leah, Leah continued to operate as a Godly wife. She didn’t let the actions and behaviour of her husband dictate how she would respond. Regardless of years and years of being in a loveless marriage and being rejected by her husband, Leah trusted in God just like the scriptures say:
1 Peter 3:5 – 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Her desire remained for her husband and she waited for God to act on her behalf. Leah followed the example of Sarah and put her hope and trust in God even when it seemed like all hope was lost. Eventually, Jacob realized his mistake, that Rachel is not a Godly wife. Jacob begins to finally appreciate the Godly wife he has in Leah, who remained a faithful and Godly wife until her death.
As a final show of his changed nature towards Leah, Jacob does something completely unexpected. When Rachel, the one whom he thought he loved, dies giving birth to their child, Jacob buries her on the side of the road to Eprath.
Genesis 35:18-19 – And with her last breath—for she was dying—she named him Ben-oni. But his father called him Benjamin. 19 So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). 20Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel’s tomb.
Jacob’s actions don’t seem too unusual. It seems like he gave Rachel a decent burial. After all, Rachel was the woman whom Jacob had worked for unpaid, for fourteen years. She was the one who captured his heart. We saw earlier that Jacob’s love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. Yet, when it came time to honor Rachel’s last dying wish to name her son ‘Ben-oni”, Jacob completely disregards that and calls him Benjamin. This one act gives us a glimpse into Jacob’s change of heart about Rachel. He seems to realize that Rachel wasn’t a Godly wife after all, and he confirms this when we read Jacob’s own last wishes before he is about to die:
Genesis 49:29 – Then he gave them these instructions: “I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite, 30 the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre in Canaan, which Abraham bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite. 31 There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried, there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried, and there I buried Leah. 32 The field and the cave in it were bought from the Hittites. ” 33 When Jacob had finished giving instructions to his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people.
So we can see that Jacob’s dying wish was to be carried more than 5000 miles, all the way from Egypt to Canaan, just so that he could be buried with Leah. But as for Rachel, she was just left at the side of the road. In the end, Jacob realized the value of a Godly wife. Leah’s decision to be a virtuous, Godly wife ensured that she had God’s favor and her husband’s adulation.
Proverbs 31:10 – Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
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